My nosejob:

I had reconstructive septoplasty on January 7, 2000. This surgery was done to correct a breathing problem I had from an exceptionally deviated septum and enlarged turbinates. This damage most likely resulted from a childhood injury that broke my nose and was never reset. I figured that since they were doing inside work and already had to break the bone, I would see if they could make the exterior a little straighter and remove the bump on the bridge. Note the straighter, more ski-bump of a nose I have now. It's eerie.

This is me, August 1999, pre-surgery and March 2000, post-surgery. (The funny wrinkles are on the paper, and not part of my face.)

In the before and after pictures, the person "before" is always scowling and devoid of makeup. I think I feeling irritable that day because they made me get my picture taken again, which meant I had to take all of my earrings out, 2 weeks after I had already sat for a round of digital photos.

The funny part is, people almost always say they can't tell a real difference. Of course, I didn't think it was that different until I saw the side by side photos proving the change. I think the exact phrase I uttered was, "HOLY SHIT!"

My boss looked at the pictures and pronounced that the new nose made my face look fuller. I was sad to inform her that the nose had less to do with the fullness of my face than my suckass diet did.