1-02-01
The year 2001 in review, aka, things I learned this weekend:
1) Pointing at a person, making a pinching gesture, pointing at yourself and then at your own ass is not universally understood as, 'Help me, your drunken friend Andrew is chasing me around, grabbing my ass. Help me now!' no matter how horrified or disgusted the look on your face is while pantomiming the attack.
2) Repeating the pantomime over and over and over again to your befuddled date across the room is less likely to cause him to leap to your defense than a simple "come here" gesture.
3) Game shark codes for the Sony Playstations, while sometimes useful, generically seem to make playing games more difficult, albeit sometimes more amusing. Case in point, the "levitate cars" function for Driver 2 appears to randomly and quite uncontrollably make all of the cars on the screen bounce and float around in the air.
4) No matter how funny it is to watch the cop cars chasing your Driver 2 driver's car around while both you and they are bouncing and floating in midair, and trust me that at 2am I almost peed on someone's sofa from laughing so hard at this, telling this story to people who have no idea what the fuck you are talking about yields about as much understanding as pointing at a person, making a pinching gesture, pointing at yourself and then at your own ass.
5) 'Drunken Jenga' rules, especially when you have a hand in coming up with the silly commands to write on the game pieces. Pick a piece, do what it says. Sometimes you can even score a lapdance; I sure did!
6) My opinion is still out on 'Speed Quarters' the drinking game, although I'm leaning towards the negative side of the opinionometer. In fact, it is noisy, and the quarters seem to always end up anywhere but in the glass they are intended for, generally in the salsa or cake or some other equally inappropriate repository.
7) Sleeping on squishy, flat pillows instead of fat, firm pillows most certainly does not rule, no matter how adorable the person the pillows belong to, nor how adorable the pillowcases may make the pillows appear.
